The Million Dollar Text Message

It seems like this whole journey has had more than its share of fits and starts. Through it all, I just kept telling myself that God is in control. That His hand is sovereign and that this is all going to work out in the end. I tell myself that His timing is not our timing and that it will all happen when He wants it to, but yet, we have to be diligent and faithful on our end as well. I could write about the last 9 months or so, but what you really want to hear about is our here and now...but flashback to February 27th...

God can do anything, you know...

I was in South Carolina for the NADE Conference and I was at dinner with a co-worker when I get a call from Oregon and I don't recognize the number. I answer the call and it was our adoption agency. Our contact at the agency was telling me about the possibility of a referral (a referral is when we are sent information about adoptable kids and we decide whether or not we want to accept the referral, that is, "choose" those kids). Like I mentioned, I am not at home, Alan and I aren't able to talk about it really, I'm in the middle of dinner, so I tell her I have to call her back. In the meantime, she sends us some information about these kiddos (don't get too excited yet, this is not the main point of the story!). 

After dinner, I call Alan and we talk about if we want to look at the info separately or wait until I get home. We decide - much to the chagrin of a great friend - to wait until I get home. So, I get home, we sit down at the computer, not knowing what to expect and we open the email...no pictures, just some very basic information, and a line that says something like, "oh yeah, by the way (okay, maybe I added that part), if you say yes, the referral fee is $30,400 and due in a week." WHAT?!?

...far more than you could ever imagine or guess...

Wait a minute! I knew that the referral was expensive, the most expensive part of the process, but seriously??? That was at least $10,000 MORE than I was thinking it was. I go back and I look through some documents, confirmed that it said $19,000(ish) to accept the referral of two children. Now, when I thought $19,000, I knew that it was a lot, but, hey, God is a big God, right? But $30,000??? How in the world was I going to raise $30,000? How was I going to ask my friends and family for $30,000? Where in the world would I find enough people to even help? I don't have that many friends - not even on Facebook! 

...or request in your wildest dreams! 

We had met with a guy on staff from our church on March 5th to catch up about our adoption. We told him our hearts about adoption, how we got to where we are spiritually and emotionally and where were were in the process of our adoption. In our journey, we have seen other people adopt and, frankly, some of them (we felt) have LOTS more money than we do. They had great paying jobs, owned businesses, had families who were financially stable, etc. (For the record, I have no idea how these families did it. These were just my thoughts at the time and I didn't see how this was going to happen for us). We told him that we don't have money, we don't have a rich uncle, Alan is on workers comp and I am a teacher. We knew that it would come down to lots of fundraising, lots. He encouraged us to focus on the steps - what's the next chunk we need to raise? What is the next part of our process? 

He does it not by pushing us around...

So, after our meeting, Alan and I are encouraged. We felt like we had some church support and had some ideas on how to move forward with fundraising. But still, in my heart, "God, how am I going to ask my friends to help me raise $30,000?" I know that I could have this much faith for any of my friends, I really could, and I would really believe that God would move like that. I knew in my heart that God was going to take care of it, even if it was one $300 fundraiser at a time, but in my mind, I was just unsure how it was going to happen for us, I wouldn't call it full-fledged doubt...but maybe you would, and I'm cool with that. 

...but by working within us...

Little by little, that's how the money was going to come in, in my mind. We have sold jewelry, baked goods, I have tutored, we have hosted sushi parties, we've had a garage sale, my grandma sends my birthday gift to our adoption fund...little by little. We had a sushi fundraiser last Saturday night and a group of 4 ladies blessed our socks off and we raised $310 - WOW. Then today, we met with one of our mentors, $500 check towards our adoption - God, you are so good. Little by little, that's how it was going to be...it might take a long time to raise that money for the referral fee. That might mean that we would have to wait to accept a referral, or take out a loan, or sell a kidney - but it would happen sometime. 

...his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

But for the last week and a half or so, I just kept praying, asking God how I was going to go about this. What fundraising could I do to raise this crazy amount of money? Should I do t-shirts? More jewelry? Another bake sale? What should I do? And I think that was the problem, it was "me, myself and I." I was right, I have no way of doing this...really, no way. I had been praying about it, but I was praying, asking God how I was going to do it...but praise God, it isn't about me, but about Him, and His faithfulness. 

Glory to God in the church!

So, here it is...this is the moment...I get a text message today from a friend asking exactly how much more we have for our adoption and I tell the person that I don't really know "exactly" but the referral fee is $30,000. The next text I get from her says, "Ok so we are going to give you 22,000....We want more than anything to see you guys be parents!!!"

WHOA!! Wait a minute! This lady is a great woman, she has this great family and a seemingly laid back approach to raising her kids (that works!), which I don't know I could ever have! We are friends, but not in then hang-out-every-weekend-and-have-girl-time sense. I am soooo completely caught off guard and just amazed. 

I go show the text to Alan and I just start BAWLING! Literally, the last time I felt emotions so overwhelming was when I got the call that my mother died. Obviously, this was on the opposite end of the spectrum, but it had the same impact. So, I called her, crying...and what I said was, "What the hell are you doing??" If you know me, you know that's not something that I would just say! She tells me why and all I can do is cry... 

At this moment, I am still just amazed at God's goodness to us. I am amazed that God would answer our prayers through this family. I am so amazed that this whole time I have wondered how "I" was going to do this, when it was never me. I am amazed that God answers my prayers. All night, these song lyrics were running through my head, "Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." Equally amazing is how we were able to share this awesome news with friends and how they were encouraged and excited for us. He is just faithful, I knew that going in, but I know it now.

So, to end, I'm sure you have heard this verse before. I had, I have heard it, and believed it with all of my heart...but today, God showed me how crazy amazing He really is and I realize that I now believe it in a very different, very deep way.

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Glory to God in the church!
Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!
Glory down all the generations!Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!" (Ephesians 3:20-21, MSG)